What a week.
I don’t think that I have
ever been in a position that has required so much, however I have never been in
a position that has returned so much. Two
things new to me that I wish I had applied years ago: audibly renouncing satan and glorifying God.
A few nights ago, I felt a
weight like I have never felt. I got in
that quiet state. You know the one? Severe irritability, easily angered, often misunderstood,
and overly analytical. The kind that you
just want to run away to a fa raway place and never return. Most men claim that only women have these
“moments”, but I am here to tell ya….that’s been me this week; a complete ball
of fun.
I have had many of these
“moods” in the past, as you probably know, but recently, I have solely diagnosed
them to the work of the dark side.
Spiritual attacks will always be there, but my vulnerability to them is
directly related to my time spent in communication with God. I have recently spent more time talking to
myself than Him. Suddenly, what should
be my good days become my bad days and what should be my bad days become my
good ones. Focus off, therefore truth
distorted. Shouldn't success be measured
by how many victories I have been a part of vs. how easily my day went? These “moods” come when I have had a
succession of losses/hurts over a long period of time.
1)
“Sally” looked at
me with an abnormal face.
2)
My friend went to
that person when they would typically ask me?!
3)
Crap….where’s my
wallet?
4)
Twisted ankle.
5)
Freakin bugs…
6)
Some strange,
scary dream about kids and corpses.
7)
Diesel in my
truck.
8)
“Sally” with the
face again.
9)
Stressed…no
sleep.
Shouldn’t my day read like
this?
1)
Victory
“History split by
sacrifice,
God’s perfect son gave up
his life,
To ransom back the lost
and dead,
Paying the price justice
demands.
True love was shown true
love defined,
As He was scorned and
crucified,
He tore the vale, bridged
the divide,
Taking us from darkness to
light.
As He was broken, Heaven
was opened,
Our judgment lifted, our
sins acquitted,
His loving kindness freely
invites us,
Into the realms of grace.
Sing a new song,
Sing of His goodness,
Sing of His goodness,
Sing of His wonderful
love.”
Jeremy Riddle
“Acquitted”
2 comments:
Wow. Steve this post is awesome and oh so true- not only of you but all of us- we all get there at times and i have struggled with the same thing lately. I am totally ashamed to admit that I have failed to keep up with what is happening out there. I will be reading your blog more regularly and sharing with Jordan also :) I miss you being around, but I think what I really miss is that when you were, I never saw you. What I want to say is this: for all the times I have never said it- thank you for being an amazing friend. Some days i think of the people who have very heavily influenced my life and you are definitely one of those. At a time when I desperately needed male influence (without any strings attached/ any deep relationship stuff)- you were one of the people who I could actually talk to and trust. Thank you, for who you are, for following God and for what yo are doing. Thank you for loving those kids who probably hate you at times if not always. thank you for living a life that inspires me!
And please make sure I know when you are coming back to visit because Jordan and I would love to hang out with you when you do.
"Thank you for loving those kids who probably hate you at times if not always."---> you have no idea. Haha. I rest in the fact that God is doing a much greater thing than the eye can see. Thanks for the encouragement. I like to feel loved. I miss the ADDICT meetings, but they definitely helped me for the road ahead. I hope that you and Jordan are growing together! I should be back in the next couple of months and look forward to seeing you all then. Peace.
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