- A student informed me of a "Rattle looking snake" in the school hallway. It's dead.
- Rattlesnakes are actually quite common.
- A scorpion bum rushed me at my house.
- A raccoon resembling a hotdog eating contest victor has invaded my back porch but can't seem to show up when I'm armed.
- Lizards are as numerous as gnats.
- Earthquakes are common.
- This area has an extremely high concentration of sex offenders.
- Mountain Lions are prevalent and, apparently, will stalk and kill our lunch lady's Bullmastiffs.
- That same lunch lady informed me that the Mexican Cartel prefers our area to grow their "cash crop" because of its numerous mountain springs.
- The local drug eradication team lands fully armed on our baseball diamond in helicopters from time to time.
- Forest fires are very common. Last night, the nearby ridge was glowing with pretty red and white colors.
Other than that, things are pretty safe.
No comments:
Post a Comment